January 30th, 2011

I am at almost $2200 in debt as of now. I have paid off a credit card as of January 7th! I was really excited about it too. It was $180 and I paid it off all at once, by listening to the still voice of God telling me to. After I paid it off, I was stressing over gas, groceries etc. I got $15 of gas (@ $3 a gallon) and $24 of groceries! The snowstorm came Sunday night, so I was not able to go to work Monday OR Tuesday. So, I only needed gas for Wednesday and Thursday because I get paid on Friday. THANK YOU LORD!! Now, why can't I use that example moving forward? I didn't pay my tithe this week, which I feel extremely guilty about. I don't understand why either because He has grace and mercy on me. I don't miss that often and when I do, I feel all this guilt. I guess it's because my love for God is so strong and He's never left me before, so why am I mistrusting him now? Bills got overwhelming and I didn't have enough left to pay everybody so I figured I would skip out on the tithe so I could pay my other bills. Now, I don't have enough for groceries and that's going to cause me to pay for groceries with my credit card. I THINK NOT SATAN! I have food in my household and I just have to keep trusting God to get me through this week. I have an abundance of everything, sometimes I just don't feel it sometimes. This year, I'm going to be DEBT FREE!! GET OVER IT SATAN! So, my plan is to pay one of my credit cards half the balance then call them and cancel the credit card. The last payment will be due by the time it is paid off. So, that will be 2 cards down, 3 to go. Firestone (which is $750) will be paid for a few months since the interest is so high on it then it will be back to another card that has to be paid off by October. Orchard Bank and a very small balance (below $100) credit card shall be paid off soon as well. Oh, and I owe Thrivent (my life insurance loan) somewhere around $560 and I am hoping to have them paid off as well, but the others are a stronger priority because the interest doesn't accumulate like it does on a credit card. I also owe Sharon $200 for my sofa bed-couch. I would like to have that paid off by March, but I'm not seeing how it's going to be done if I have to have another credit card paid off before April! *sigh* This debt is making me crazy. I never realized how poor I really am until I started paying debt off like this. I feel like I am paying it off in chunks (which is a good thing) but it is OHHHHH so painful to do. I can't wait to find out what it's going to be like paying my car off next. Speaking of car, I have been paying them like $250 instead of the $318 payment so that's going to build up and hurt me too. But I HAVE TO KEEP PRESSING THROUGH!! 2011 will be my year!! If I don't have it all paid off, at least MOST of it will be paid off and I will feel so free again!! COME ON GOD!! LET'S DO IT!! This will be YET another testimony I have to share with others after this journey is over! GOD YOU ARE AWESOME!! Thank you for the many blessings! Open my eyes and show me how to pay all of this off. You are the only one that can make this possible. I know it's a struggle, but how else can I remain faithful if it's not a struggle? You said it would never be easy and you also said you would never leave OR forsake me!! AMEN!!